“Learning to love life again is a long and complicated process” Han Kang
Couples Therapy
When Relationships Go Bad
Is the person you’ve chosen to be your partner your biggest source of heartache? Maybe you feel amazed at how far you’ve drifted apart. The smallest things they do irritate you, and arguments are spiraling out of control. Or maybe you’ve hurt each other in ways couldn’t have imagined. You may call this person your partner, but don’t experience the connection, intimacy, or comfort you did before.
The Power of Relationships
Inviting someone to share in the most intimate and vulnerable parts of ourselves can be either deeply painful, or be powerfully restorative. No matter what else may be going on in life, relationships are extremely powerful forces in our lives. And that force can either make us feel completely safe in the middle of a storm, or tear us apart when the weather is calm. And it is up to us to make sure our relationships bring us safety no matter what’s happening in the storm of life.
How is Couples Therapy Going to Help Us?
Couples go to therapy for all kinds of different reasons. Some go because they are getting ready to go through a major transition, like marriage or kids. Others go to therapy because they want to proactively invest in their relationship. Some couples go to therapy because they want things to be different, and it feels like they’re unable to stop the cycle of the same hurtful patterns in their relationship.
In couples therapy, you’ll work to intimately connect with each other with vulnerability, gentleness, and kindness. You’ll work in couples therapy to see what is actually happening when you get into painful cycles with your partner, and work to build new healthy patterns instead. It can help you find the deep hidden emotions, and to be connected to each other in that vulnerable place.
Couples therapy is about willingness to turn inward to learn about your own self, the courage to share yourself with your partner, and building healthy patterns with your loved one. In couples therapy, you can be seen in your most vulnerable tender places, and experience a deep and profound intimacy with your partner.
“But I’m afraid that…
…couples therapy may uncover some things that are too painful to face.” Or “…our relationship is too far gone for us to recover.” Or even “…you’ll take my partner’s side and make me the villain in the story.” These fears are legitimate, and you would not be the only person to feel that way. It’s natural to want to avoid things that are scary, or to try to find comfort in avoidance. Nonetheless, couples therapy can help restore what has felt so injured and painful, and it can give new life to your relationship. It’s okay to have those fears, and you can even bring those concerns to therapy. But you don’t need to let these fears keep you from investing in your relationship.
What next?
In couples therapy, you can learn about yourself, your partner, and how to build a fulfilling and loving relationship as your most intimate, vulnerable selves. If you’re curious about experiencing a deeper connection with your partner, looking to heal from a painful event, or just looking for ways to invest in your relationship, you can schedule a free consultation here.