Racelighting
What is Racelighting?
Gaslighting may be a concept that you may already be familiar with - it’s a manipulation tactic employed by one individual to push another individual to question their own thoughts, experiences, and even sanity. Gaslighting is usually referred to in contexts of unhealthy or abusive relationships - one way to exert control and power over another is by controlling the narrative of what they believe about themselves.
Racelighting is gaslighting experienced at both systemic and individual levels about someone’s experience with racism. Racelighting refers to when a Black, Indigenous, and Person of Color (BIPOC) experiences racism, the society they live in perpetuate messages that make them doubt that experience. It is a way to rob that intimate lived experience of a BIPOC individual. It can lead to BIPOC individuals believing that perhaps they are being too sensitive, they are overreacting, they deserve the wrongdoing, or that they are imagining their experiences with racism.
Racelighting can be extremely harmful - not just on an individual level, but also a societal level. On an individual level, it can lead to feelings of self-doubt, uncertainty in their own experience, and questioning their own moral ‘good’-ness, what they are capable of, and what treatment they deserve from others. On a societal level, racelighting can lead to communities that accept harmful racial stereotypes about themselves, demean the experience of the community, and even the perpetuation of those harmful stereotypes against one another.
So, what can we do about it?
Educate and Build Awareness
First thing we can do is learn about and recognize the phenomenon. Whether that’s through reading articles like this one by J. Luke Wood and Frank Harris III that explain racelighting and its history, or hearing about others’ experiences of racelighting, grow your awareness of what racelighting is and what it can do to a person and community. Be mindful that, similar to an individual who has experienced extensive gaslighting in their interpersonal relationship, someone (or a community) that is experiencing racelighting might not realize it as a part of their lived experience. Building awareness within individuals and communities is the first step before any action steps can be taken. After all, it would be extremely difficult to do something about something that you have no idea exists.
Believe Your Own Experience
As easy as this may sound, this can be extremely difficult, especially for those of us who experience a lot of self doubt. Self doubt from racelighting can manifest in so many different ways - Imposter Syndrome for example, or believing we are not capable or worthy of something because society says ‘someone like me’ can’t do certain things. For example, if you believe you experienced racism or a microaggression, honor that gut instinct and sit with that experience, even if the other party vehemently denies it (ie “you misunderstood me”, “you’re taking things out of context”, “not everything is about your race”). And if there are any parts of you that attempt to reason it away (“They didn’t mean to say that”, “there must be another reason I didn’t get the promotion”, “they would have treated me that way even if I were a different race”, etc), hold those parts too and examine them. Are those voices coming from a genuinely true place, or is that the racelighted part of you that now prohibits you from the full range of your experience?
Believe Your Community’s Experience
If someone tells you about a racist experience they had, believe them; and when you hear incidents of people in your community experiencing racism, notice if you have any thoughts like “they must have done something to deserve it”. In other words, be mindful of any internalized racelighting responses or prejudices that you have about people in your own community that might be influencing your ability to respond with compassion, understanding, and solidarity to the experiences within your community.
Challenge
If you feel ready and prepared to challenge in a healthy and appropriate way, don’t be afraid to do so. In a system that experiences racelighting, you might need to challenge yourself, challenge your community members, and challenge those who are mistreating you because of your race. Challenge any thoughts that undermine your own experiences and instincts. Challenge friends and community members who propagate ideas that make other community members question their own thoughts and feelings. And challenge those who may be (whether intentionally or not) treating you differently because of your race. They may respond with “you’re misunderstanding me, you’re putting words in my mouth, that wasn’t racist” or any variation thereof, and be mindful that such a denial is what contributes to the racelighting experience.
Racelighting is a pervasive phenemenon that we are just having the vocabulary to talk about. Take the time now to learn how it has impacted your life and continues to shape your experience, then you can explore how you can restructure your experience with racelighting moving forward. If you’d like to talk about your experiences with racelighting, please contact us for a phone consultation.