Being Diagnosed with Neurodiversity as an Adult

What is Neurodiversity?

Receiving a neurodiversity diagnosis as an adult can be a challenging and confusing experience. Neurodiversity refers to the diverse range of neurological conditions that can impact an individual's behavior, thinking, and emotions. These conditions include autism, ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, and many others. Many adults may not have been diagnosed with a neurodiversity condition earlier in life and may feel overwhelmed or uncertain about how to navigate their new diagnosis. Together, we’ll explore some strategies for coping with a newly diagnosed neurodiversity as an adult.

What to Do?

Acknowledge that it’s a Big Deal

First and foremost, it's important to acknowledge that receiving a diagnosis can be difficult, and it's completely normal to have a range of emotions such as shock, confusion, and even denial. Take the time to process your feelings and give yourself permission to feel them. Adults tend to have a more strongly developed sense of identity than children and teenagers. As an adult, you may already feel very settled into who you are, your identity, and feel confident that you know yourself better than you did when you were a teen. Then, receiving a diagnosis as an adult that your brain functions differently than those of the majority can be a shock to our systems, and it can lead to a reorganizing of who we thought we were. That is a big deal. Take the time to really acknowledge the gravity of the identity transition that you are going through. It might be helpful to talk to a therapist, counselor or support group specifically catering to people with neurodiversity condition.

Educate Yourself

One of the most important things you can do after receiving a diagnosis is to educate yourself about your specific diagnosis. This is a new part of yourself that you now just learned about - this part of you has always existed, but now you actually know about it and can walk through the door to learn more about this newly discovered part of yourself. Being able to understand yourself more fully and completely can be a very exciting thing. Many adults who are newly diagnosed feel a sense of isolation, but learning more about your condition can help you connect with others who have similar experiences. Read books, articles, and online resources about your diagnosis, and consider joining a support group or online community. It can also be useful to meet with a specialist in the field and ask questions about how this diagnosis might affect you, and this can also provide an avenue for getting accommodation that may help in your daily life.

Advocate for Yourself

Another important step is to find ways to advocate for yourself. Remember that you are trying to live in a world that wasn’t designed for someone like you. And it’s likely that the institutions in your life, like school or work, will continue to expect you to function as if you are neurotypical, because that is how the system is set up. That’s why one of the most common challenges that adults with neurodiversity face is navigating the workplace and educational institutions. If you find that you are struggling in these environments, it may be helpful to speak with your employer or school about accommodations that may help you. This can include things like extra time for testing, a quiet workspace, or flexible scheduling. It's essential to speak up for yourself and to let others know what you need to be successful.

Be Kind

It's also essential to practice self-care and self-compassion. Many adults with neurodiversity feel a sense of guilt or shame about their condition. It's important to remind yourself that your neurodiversity is not a choice, it's a part of who you are and it doesn't define your worth as a person. It is a part of you, just as much as your arms, toes, and nose are a part of you. It is the way that your brain is wired, and yours just happens to be wired a bit differently than others. Practice self-care activities like exercise, meditation, and journaling can help you to relax and to take care of yourself emotionally.

Expand Your Understanding of Self

It's also important to remember that a neurodiversity diagnosis can be an opportunity for expanding your understanding of self. Having a better understanding of the diagnosis can help you to understand yourself better and to make changes in your life that will help you to be happy and fulfilled. For example, you may have believed your entire life that you are lazy. Or that you are unmotivated, or unintelligent. With the new diagnosis, maybe it’s not that you’re lazy, but that your executive functioning struggles with certain tasks. Maybe you don’t get obsessed, but rather experience hyperfixation. Maybe you’re not unintelligent, but rather words get jumbled on the page when you read and you can’t focus. If you are diagnosed as an adult, you have probably already created narratives to explain certain things about yourself - like laziness, lack of motivation, focus - that could actually be better explained by the diagnosis. It’s an opportunity for you to expand and reorganize your understanding of yourself, especially the parts of you that you have seen with unkind eyes, because they didn’t fit into what you were supposed to be to ‘succeed’ in this society. It may mean that you find yourself in a new career or environment that is better suited to your needs, or that it's a chance to make new connections and find people who share your unique perspective.

At the End of the Day

In the end, coping with a new diagnosis of neurodiversity as an adult can be challenging, but it's important to remember that you are not alone. Many people have been through this experience, and many have found the diagnosis to support them in living fulfilling lives. Educate yourself about the diagnosis, advocate for yourself, practice self-care and self-compassion, and seek out support from others. Remember that a diagnosis is not the end of the road, it's a new beginning, an opportunity to better understand yourself and to make changes that will help you to live the life you want. It's essential to understand that everyone's journey is different and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. But with time, patience, and the right resources, you can learn how to incorporate your newly diagnosed neurodiversity into your life.

If you have recently been diagnosed with neurodiversity, and would like a safe space to process what that means for your life and identity, please contact us to schedule a free consultation.