Here are some resources to help you ponder and reflect. Each resource has been personally read and vetted by me, and I've selected only things that I believe could be helpful to you. Remember to check back for new resources!


After the Affair by Janis Abrahms Spring

After the Affair was written for the couple who are wanting to repair their relationship after experiencing infidelity. Janis Abrahms Spring carefully and clearly addresses the experience of both the “hurt partner” and the “unfaithful partner” in a relationship with infidelity. The book outlines different ways each partner can take responsibility in the ownership of the infidelity as well as the rebuilding of the relationship. It equips couples to navigate through very tricky waters, including how to be sexually intimate again, how to set boundaries with one another and for the relationship, and how to learn from the affair. This book does not minimize the effort and pain it will take to revitalize a relationship after the affair, however for the couple who are committed to rebuilding the relationship, it provides valuable insight that can help pave the way to restoration.


Microaggressions in Every Day Life by Derald Wing Sue

Have you ever felt extremely irritated when someone asks you a very simple question like "where are you from?" And been puzzled why such an innocent question can make you feel so upset? Then you've experienced microaggression. This book from Chinese-American author and professor can help you understand better the phenomenon of microaggressions, what it means for you, and its danger to you and to our society. New copies are around $50, but you can used copies, and it can give you a different framework to make meaning of your everyday experiences.


The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman

John Gottman is a renowned marriage researcher who spent years studying the biology and neurophysiology of relationships. Gottman is so confident in his research, he states that he can spot a failing marriage with over 90% accuracy with just 15 minutes of observation of the couple. While it's not a substitute for couples therapy, this book includes activities you can do with your partner that can help you focus and revitalize your relationship. If you're curious what research has found to be the death knell for relationships, and what it has found to be a common practice in successful marriages, at less than $10, this book is worth a read. 


Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain

Our society rewards extroverts, and extroversion is often a determiner of success. But not everyone is a natural extrovert, and what does that mean for those who prefer introversion in our society? This book sets out to challenge the way we think about introversion, and the power it can carry in our world. If you've ever felt inadequate because you thought you're not "outgoing enough" or "extroverted enough", give this book a read and find strengths and powers that are unique to you.